Sherpa Lesson from Italy #3
My son, Chase, and cousin, Melinda, in Florence, Italy
I can remember the first time I saw somebody break the fourth wall in a movie. It was Eddie Murphy. In his early Movies he would give his signature look straight through the camera and directly to the audience anytime he encountered something unusual or unintelligent from another character in the story. I remember finding that so hilarious.
Now with actors like Ryan Reynolds in Deadpool, breaking the fourth wall has gone the next level because of the way it makes the audience an “insider” with the cast.
There was a little bit of this going on on my Italy trip. I took my cousin Melinda and my son Chase to the oldest perfumery in the world, which is located in Florence, the capital of Tuscany. It has a rich history where monks had helped an aristocrat 800 years ago with a health issue using their herbs and flowers. He was so grateful, he funded the development of their studies and gardens and let everybody else in Europe know how he was healed through their work. This ended up in a quick expansion from medicinals to perfume, and ultimately, a perfumery that has a historical elegance and uniqueness all its own.
While walking through the eight-century old fresco rooms with various mixtures and scents all laid out to be sampled, my son sampled almost every mixture they had concocted. A very elegant older woman began to serve him from behind the counter. She started with the usual explanation of the origins of the scents, the ingredients in each one, and how it might smell on a young man like him.
He told her how he had fallen in love with the tobacco vanilla mixture and that’s when the fourth wall began to crumble. This stately woman began to reveal that this was her favorite scent, and that, even though she was a woman she was wearing it even as she spoke. She began to share why she didn’t see this as a uniquely masculine scent, and how it smelled different on each person it was put on. She went into some personal stories as well, and brought him into her life a bit. This seemed out of place for the elegance and decorum of the place, but it was a welcomed moment and Chase and her connected deeply.
Needless to say, she made a sale.
I think we can learn a little bit from this ancient perfumery, and this woman who crossed a barrier – the barrier that exists between the professional and the personal and it made Chase feel a bit like an insider, even though he was far away from home.
How to break the fourth wall with guests
Sharing something personal.
Friendliness, answering questions well and winsomely, these are all good and somewhat expected. But when you recognize somebody’s last name and think it might be a relative of someone you know, or notice a logo on a T-shirt that ties into something you have an affinity with, these are ways of sharing something personal that breaks the fourth wall of church, friendliness, and help people enter into authentic connection.
Another time this took place in Italy was at a new restaurant I tried, one that I can’t wait to go back to. It was in an 800 year old section of Florence, in a beautiful room with frescoes and vaulted archways with stone steps leading to who knows where. It was the oldest continuing operating restaurant in Florence and it’s called Paoli Restorante. The food was outstanding and the atmosphere, well, like I said, was exquisite and authentic.
What made our experience special was our 22 year old waiter who as the evening progressed let us know that he was from the island of Crete and was trying to make it in Florence. I mentioned that Crete was where Titus in the Bible was from and he lit up at our knowledge of us homeland, giving us a few freebies and some insider tips along the way. I could tell he came by a few more times than probably our dining experience necessitated, but we loved it and I think he did too.
Endorsing something personally
This is a rich heritage we have in our movement from its Genesis on. In fact, Revelation, 12:11 says that the first Christian’s “overcame the dragon by the blood of the lamb and the power of their testimony” (personal endorsement).
The apostle John said in the opening of his first letter, “That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked at and our hands have touched—this we proclaim…”
When we get into enough conversation with someone new to our church, a personal endorsement of anything from a Bible translation, to the best drink or food item at our café, the endorsements we make can have a powerful effect and break the fourth wall. Anything from a small group recommendation to a hidden resource that the church has available, this becomes a way of fast tracking connection.and ensuring that those drawn to your church return and build community.
Giving them something PURE.
P.U.R.E. stands for a Positive Unexpected Relational Experience. You can read more about the importance of this and even learn how to cast vision for it on your teams by clicking here. But for now let it suffice to say that an act of compassion like a spontaneous prayer for something that happened to leak out in conversation, or fast tracking someone beyond your church’s procedures for a given situation, these are the unexpected relational moments that break the fourth wall and allow a guest to become more of an insider very quickly.
My son is still using his tobacco/vanilla scent when he goes anywhere special. He paid a significant amount of money for it too, and he’s quite proud of it! But I didn’t tell you that I was so impressed that I bought myself a bar of soap called “Tobacco Toscano Sapone.” I even used it today! I just couldn’t resist the personal touch that we experienced in the pharmacy.
I think the Sherpa lesson I learned from this part of our Italy trip with that guests at our churches will respond the same way. We don’t have to be a comedian or a super hero to make it happen.
When was the last time you had someone break the fourth wall with you in a new environment? How did it make you feel? What are the benefits and cautions that surround doing something similar for first time guests at your church?
When was the last time you saw a staff or volunteer break the fourth wall with a guest? What happened as a result?
What is a point of confusion or a consistent question first time guests often ask at your church? How could it be turned into an occasion to break the fourth wall in someway for their sake?
