Sherpa lesson from Italy #2
My son who went with me to Italy a few weeks ago is an artist. He used to love to draw skulls when he was a boy so when I heard there was a series of chapels underneath a church in Rome that were completely decorated in human bones 500 years ago, I knew I had to swallow the substantial price of the tickets and go.
It was quite a place, though the experience was not quite what we expected.
The website described something cool: a concert of Carpathian monks chanting in the reverberating nave of an ancient church, followed by a guided tour into the “bone chapels” to hear the story of how a serial killer attempted to find sanctuary and do penance by living in these chapels where dead bodies were stored for a year, emerging only when 5 chapels were thoroughly decorated in human bones. My son Chase took the above photo and yes, those are human arms with skin still on them.
(Gulp)
Where our vision of the experience got thwarted was at the concert in the church. We walked up many, many stairs to get to the entrance of the church to find it dark, empty and quiet. descending the stairs to a level got us to a place where someone told us it was up 5 flights of stairs in a building next door. At the top of those stairs, we were told to push a button to let them know we were there.
We did. We waited.
After making us 5 minutes late, we were led into a judicial courtroom (not a church), embarrassingly across and in front the platform where musicians in black hooded raincoats (not monks) were singing classical acappella selections (not chant). They were incredibly talented, they just weren’t delivering the authentic monastic experience we thought we were in for.
It was a rough beginning to an otherwise creepy subterranean tour. Though the bone chapels were more than fascinating, for us, it was one and done.
It reminded me of something about how guests experience our church and the one thing that will guarantee a guest won’t return. Here’s what it is…
Unmet expectations.
In Rome that day, our unmet expectations, led us to the quick conclusion that this experience was a one and done. In other words, “been there, done that, never to repeat it.” Every week there are guests in most churches that make that unconscious decision based on the same thing that we did in Rome that day: unmet expectations.
King Solomon prompted us on this dynamic, though we don’t apply it to guests at church as much as we need to:
Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.Proverbs 13:12
We want people seeking God through our church to feel like the longing that is in their Hearts, usually prompted by an unexpected life event, can be fulfilled in a powerful way through Christ in us. Anything that differs that hope makes their heart sick in some way.
But this begs the question, what are some of their expectations when they visit a church for the first time?
Here’s what a guest unconsciously expects from your church and mine:
Friendliness (warm greeting)
Confident and quick answers to their questions about your church
Descent Parking
Obvious entrance (not hard to find)
A message that speaks to them in some way
Good music
Options for their children
How can you be ready to deliver? Here are three ways:
Seed your greeters and stage with a demographic balance that best reflects the community you serve.
The Unconscious question that all of us ask in a new environment is, “is there anyone here like me?” When you pay attention to the age and cultural demographics of those greeting at the door, and serving and communicating from the stage, you can actually help guests see themselves in your church in a way that makes them feel safe and at home. My church used this strategy (as well as its images on all promotional and online materials) to change our demographic from majority European, to majority Latino, then European, then Asian. As our community has changed, so have we, and we are reaching more people for Jesus because of it.
Anticipate and deliver on the list above.
For example, I mentioned one of the expectations of guests was that church would be friendly. Most churches see themselves friendly, but that’s because they are friendly to each other, not because they are consistently friendly to newcomers (see Sherpa lesson number one from Italy).
One guest became a part of our Guest Services Team this year after attending church for two months. She shared that she knew she was home when she was greeted seven times from the time that she got out of her car to the time she found her seat in her auditorium. Friendliness matters, and delivering on the anticipation of it and other things I mentioned above is how you can mitigate the effects of unmet expectations for your guests.
Use unmet expectations as an opportunity to “wow” them.
No matter how much you plan and how big your heart is, there will always be unmet expectations for someone.
We had a record-breaking attendance for Easter as I know many of you did. At our broadcast Campus, this resulted in five different overflow rooms during our largest attended service.
I met a young couple with a one-year-old that was walking out of the crowded auditorium. Their attitudes were great, but they just felt their one year-old would not allow them to experience the services they expected. I walked them to our family room that was also functioning as an overflow. Other families with children were in there, but it was already full also! I opened up the room next-door with the help of some of our staff and gave them first dibs in this clean room where they could be first to sit and enjoy the service via television with their one year-old at play. It gave them the impression that we opened the room just for them even though we would’ve had to do that at some point anyway.
Sometimes people have to leave the service due to a child that acted out, or perhaps they showed up at the wrong service time because they were changed for a big weekend. When that happens, we have cards they can redeem for a free coffee drink at our café.
Even if you’re a small church, you can have some giveaways for people whose expectations are left unmet through no fault of your own. When you are able to wow them in some way and give them a place to sit and wait (perhaps over a food item) you can actually allow them extra attention and relationship they would have never experienced had the incident never took place.
Anticipate those moments and prepare for them and you will be surprised at how a disappointment turns into a “wow”.
Jesus addressed unmet expectations when people encountered the religious leader of his day…
You are like whitewashed tombs—beautiful on the outside but filled on the inside with dead people’s bones, -Jesus, Matthew 23:27
It is “hope deferred” for guests who come hoping to see Jesus in a community of his followers only to find people focused on themselves and each other. Seeing the bone chapels in Rome gave me a fresh vision of what Jesus may have been describing.
Jesus also talked about exceeding and surprising what outsiders expect of those who follow him when they encounter them:
If a soldier demands that you carry his gear for a mile, carry it two miles. Give to those who ask, and don’t turn away from those who want to borrow.
-Jesus, Matthew 5:41-42
With the greatest of Sherpas behind us (and within us), let’s prepare to meet, exceed and even leverage unmet expectations so those God is leading to our churches will continue coming and find him fully.
3 options for invigorating the church with this concept:
Quickly share the link to this post with someone from another church who you know would benefit from it.
Share it on social media so others can find it (I loved seeing how some of you did that with my last post organically).
Share it with either your staff team or volunteer team and invite them to discuss the questions below so you can implement the concept in your ministry.
Which items from my list of guest expectations is your church poised and ready to deliver on? Share real examples of this. How can you capitalize on your church’s ability to meet those expectations and turn them into a “wow”?
Are there any items from my list of guest expectations that you are not able to deliver on currently? Why is that?
Out of the three ways shared for being ready to deliver, which one would be the most strategic for you to tackle first? How can you involve you team in the process so that team ownership of anything new is high and enthusiastic?
