The four ingredients of an assimilation system

There is an episode of "Friends" where Monica and Phoebe are desperately trying to recreate Phoebe's grandmother's cookie recipe.

It is beyond words.

The girls try baking cookies using dozens of recipes and when none of them have the taste of "grandma's cookies", Monica asked in frustration where Phoebe thinks her grandmother got the recipe.

Phoebe replied with confidence, "She got it from her grandmother, Nestley Toulouse".

When Monica realizes that meant Phoebe's "great-great-grandmother" was Nestle Tollhouse… she almost loses it.

Phoebe just thinks Monica is an American who "butchers the French language".

They end up buying some Nestle's Tollhouse cookie mix, bake a dozen, a lo and behold: Grandma's cookies!

This scene from America's favorite friends shows us that sometimes the most elegant and powerful realities boil down to a simple recipe.

In the same way, building a church guest follow-up system works best when it’s simple, clear, and consistent.

I experienced the truth of this when I was in Chile with Gene Appel to encourage and equip 80 pastors, from 4 countries, in the area's of outreach and Assimilation.

These incredibly devoted leaders shepherd churches that range in size from 80 to 400. In settings like this, I usually share about how my church assimilates guests:

I quickly realized that our way of assimilating guests as a mega-church by greeting them at Guest Central, inviting them to Next Steps, connecting them to small groups, and onboarding them as a Change Maker (volunteer) may not be a transferable strategy to smaller congregations in other cultures.

It had to boil down to a more simple recipe:

➊ Have One Place that every new guest is invited to after services

The day after the conference in Chile, one of the congregations in the Santiago area had an outreach dinner for the community.

84 people showed up, 19 made 1st time decisions to follow Jesus, and 14 of them went to their newly installed Guest Central...their One Place (Learn more about your one place and what to do with it).

They gave them free coffee there in exchange for their contact information so they could add the next ingredient in this simple recipe:

➋ Guide guests through One Program that helps them move from visiting to belonging

I had the privilege of coaching a 2-year-old church in Wisconsin that was 80 people strong with a vision of reaching many more.

They decided to offer just One Program for guests. They chose a "Pizza with the Pastor" type event.

After it took place, the leader of this effort called me almost in tears: they had 24 people show up, 19 people make 1st time decisions and 15 get baptized afterward. 

I am convinced that these amazing results would have not taken place in their worship service as this event was an environment that was specially designed for guests to get to know the pastor, the church, and the Jesus they followed.

Your program should answer every new guest’s biggest question: “How do I actually get connected here?”

But the work isn’t done yet — another ingredient must be added:

➌ Support them with Two Defined Processes — one for serving and one for groups

I don't care how small or informal your church is: if you have...

• a small group sign up sheet, 

• a box to check on your welcome card for someone to follow up on

• a strategy of relying on people in groups to invite guests into their groups…

        ...that's a process! 

(Learn more about processes here, and learn about our process for onboarding volunteers here)

The opportunity in front of you now is to discern if your process is the best process to connect your guests. Then you can clearly define that process for the whole church in an ongoing way.

These two tracks — small-group connection and volunteer onboarding — are the practical engines of your church’s growth.

One church of 5000 in Illinois became a church of 6500 fueled by inviting their guest to a 6-week Sunday night bible study at tables, and then launching these tables as small groups when the study was finished... and with an almost 100% success rate! 

That's a process too, but any assimilation processes must have 2 final ingredients to fully connect your guests to your church:

➍ Aim for Two Placements: serving and community — the heartbeat of long-term church growth

At our church it's ministry teams and small groups.

At other churches, it may be Adult Bible School Classes or a mid-week believers event of some kind.

Where do people serve and make a difference in and through your church? Your guests have not been assimilated into the life of your church until they are volunteering.

Wherever community is found in your church, know that a guest is not assimilated until a process you have invited them into places them there.

When guests find both belonging and purpose, you don’t just fill roles — you multiply disciples.

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As a Sherpa helping new people reach the summit of becoming connected serving members of my church, I am convinced that these 4 ingredients are practically universal to assimilating the guests God is drawing to your church regardless of its size or context.

They are like a good recipe that yields something that taste good, every time.

Now start a conversation with your team using the questions below!

TO CHEW ON WHILE WE CLIMB

➊ What are the current ingredients of your assimilation strategy?

➋ How would you define most clearly your process for connecting guests to a small group?

➌ How would you define most clearly your process for placing guests in a ministry?

➍ Discuss what it would mean to build a strong assimilation strategy based on these 4 ingredients. Hint: Identify the ingredient your church is missing starting at the left side of the chart. Then move right to the next ingredient, once each is added.

Are you ready to take your first step?

I hope so… because I think it’d be the most powerful thing you could do this year to reach more people and make more disciples.

Start your Full Assimilation Audit for a realistic picture of where you are and where you’re headed.

All positive change starts with awareness. Your Assimilation Audit includes...

✅ 49-point audit to see where your system is leaking
✅ short video that explains the vision we’re after
✅ 30-minute debrief call to talk through real next steps

It’s the simplest way to stop guessing and start building a system that turns guests into fully engaged disciples.

• What is a church guest follow-up system?

  It’s a simple, intentionally designed path that helps guests move from first-time attendance to feeling known, connected, and involved. We often call it “assimilation,” but the heart is helping people belong before, stay, serve, and grow.

• Why does every church need one?

  Because most guests decide within their first few weeks whether your church feels like it could be home. Without a clear follow-up system, connection is left to chance — and potentially fully engaged disciples slip through the cracks.

• What are the four ingredients of an effective guest follow-up system?

  We call them One Place, One Program, Two Processes, and Two Placements. Together they create a consistent, people-first approach that turns weekend visitors into active participants in community and ministry.

• Does this work for small churches too?

  Absolutely. These principles scale beautifully — from church plants of 50 to multi-site churches of thousands. The smaller you are, the easier it is to personalize your guest pathway.

• How is this different from just good hospitality?

  Hospitality welcomes people once. A follow-up system keeps walking with them until they find community and purpose. It’s the bridge between a warm greeting and long-term discipleship.

• Where should we start?

  Start simple. Audit your current guest experience, clarify one clear next step, and invite every guest toward it. When you’re ready, take the Assimilation Audit to see exactly where your system can grow.