3 Things to STOP Saying to Connect More Guests (+ a few honorable mentions)
When James said the tongue was “ set on fire by hell” and “a restless evil, full of deadly poison…”
…alright, he probably wasn’t talking about these phrases 🤷🏻♂️
But all the same, our words are incredibly powerful, and they often act as the tipping point between a guest taking the courageous step inward or drifting away silently.
I’ve re-examined my “default” language time and time again and consistently found phrases and words that I use “because I always have” — instead of “because they WORK.”
And I know we live in a world where it feels like EVERYTHING we say gets us in hot water with someone… but this post isn’t about all that.
It has nothing to do with political correctness or theological nitpicking — this is all about crafting compelling messages that effectively drive our target audience toward meaningful action 👍
But before we get to the phrases, we’ve got to talk about that “target audience” — because aiming for “everyone” isn’t going to cut it.
Hopefully your staff has done some work on a target demographic already (Intentional Churches calls this “your ONE,” others use an “ideal customer profile” exercise) — if so, that’s a powerful filter that should be applied to every announcement!
But on top of that, whenever I’m crafting an announcement or really communicating anything, I intentionally aim at “the people at the back of the line.”
I don’t aim for the grumpy skeptic that just wants to argue — but I also don’t aim for the hyperactive church junkie that signs up for everything.
I assume they want what I’m offering, but don’t inherently know that I’m talking to them—or that their insecurity or fear is threatening to keep them away.
And I love that visual of the “back of the line,” because if you throw the hook over everyone’s heads to reach them, you’ll drag the rest of the line in along with them.
So that’s the context — now here are some phrases that deserve a strong re-thinking:
➊ “Don’t miss it”
It’s filled with good intentions, but comes with dangerous side effects.
Every person, all day, is being told what to do with their time and attention. Brands are yelling over each other, fighting for what’s most valuable.
Let’s not get into that shouting match.
We live in an invitational Kingdom: Jesus doesn’t demand anything from the people He encounters — He offers.
When we keep it purely invitational, we give people full agency over their spiritual lives. That’s a huge win in the long term.
🤔 Why it’s an issue:
“Don’t miss it” puts an undue amount of pressure on something, and when that’s coming from someone with perceived spiritual authority, it can do all the wrong things:
some people hate being told what to do (and that’s not necessarily wrong)
the people that WANT to go but CAN’T are left feeling either frustrated or guilty
maybe if it’s that important, we shouldn’t be offering whatever it is at only one singular day/time…
😎 What we could say instead:
Try “see you there” as your default ending statement - it’s invitational, just the right amount of intentional, and it’s strongly relational. (credit to @BradyShearer for this replacement)
Or you could say “I really hope you can be a part of it.” That first person statement will probably be more powerful than speaking on behalf of the organization.
➋ “If it’s your first time here…”
Born out of a very healthy urgency to connect guests as quickly as possible, aiming directly at first-time guests with your invitation to your “One Place” backfires all too quickly.
🤔 Why it’s an issue:
Right out of the gate, the “first time” language oversteps urgency and creeps toward pressure. Most commonly in my experience, guests identify themselves between their 2nd-4th visits with the right invitation.
And while we might think, “of course they’ll know that they can come do this anytime… not just their first time!” — that might not be the case!
😎 What we could say instead:
However we can, we need to keep the invitation wide open while also helping guests know “YES, I’m talking to YOU!”
Two phrases I consistently use:
“If you’re new around here…”
“If you haven’t done this yet…”
Both help people self-identify easily and without pressure, while also leaving plenty of room to finish with the real reason you’re inviting them to stop by: “We’d just really love to meet you.”
➌ “We need you to volunteer”
Even if it brings in a batch of new volunteers (and even though it’s true), the ground beneath them is shaky.
It seems like every church I talk to is struggling to keep ministries’ heads above water without burning out the faithful volunteers who have stuck it out the last few years. Culture seems to be shifting, and we’re still trying to crack the egg on how we should be shifting with it.
🤔 Why it’s an issue:
First, this phrase creates an unnecessary divide between “us” and “you.” Honestly, I work hard (and sometimes do gymnastics) to eliminate all kinds of us/you language so that everything can feel a lot more like “we.”
Enough guests—especially the unchurched ones we’re all trying hard to reach—already feel worried about lightning striking them down as they walk through the doors of a church… so let’s not make them feel even more like outsiders.
But mostly, the issue is a pragmatic one: volunteers who serve out of necessity won’t flourish and won’t stick.
😎 What we could say instead:
probably means you need to talk about volunteering more than just when you’re dangerously low - or more importantly, to the right people at the right time (one program)
But if you ARE in this spot and are doing a church-wide push for new volunteers (which is NOT a bad thing!), try focusing on WHY you need more volunteers:
We’re excited to build up our volunteer teams to prepare for…
(a brand new service time)
(reaching people who are far from God)
(a renewed sense of community and ownership for everyone who calls our church home)
People do things that they think are good for them—not because they’re selfish… but because that’s how we’re wired.
If we believe the way of Jesus is the best way to live, we have to get really good at making that pitch.
Some quick Honorable Mentions
🤔 “If you’re ready to get baptized”
😎 “If you’ve recently started following Jesus…”
Expect the people we’re trying to reach don’t understand Christian lingo!
🤔 “Come hear about who we are and what we believe”
😎 “Come find your place at [our church]”
Make them the protagonist of the story, not the church!
🤔 “Now we’ll collect the offering”
😎 “Right now we’re going to receive an offering”
Let’s not share terms with bill collectors… and frame up giving as a gift instead 👍
🤔 “Where did you attend church before this?”
😎 “Is church new for you or have you been connected to a church before?
Focus on questions that everyone has an answer to - no matter what their story is or how familiar they are with church.
Start a conversation about this with your team or volunteers!
Are there any phrases we use regularly that have “always been that way”? What is ready for a review?
What Christian lingo are we using regularly without ever explaining?
How do we talk about volunteering - as something we need or that is good for them?
